How many have you owned recently, 3,4?? I wish I had your issues.
It seems to me that this is what you've wanted. Keep it, drive it and enjoy it. If you're worried about pranging it then drive it with respect until you relax a bit and or get some tuition. Build up a load of spares and repair it if it goes wrong. If you blow an engine, you rebuild it. If you bend it you repair it.
Please enjoy the lovely car rich!