If the plug is soaked, it's fucked, so not a bit of wonder taking the plug lead or injector plug off doesnt make a difference...that cylinder isnt firing anyway.

Replace the plugs, and stop starting the engine and running it for only a few seconds !

And have you actually checked for a spark on that cylinder when you think the problem is occurring ?

It seems fairly apparent that cylinder is getting fuel ( unless somehow it is getting far too much fuel )

The least likely place for there to be a fault is the ecu.