Sooo much crap out there! Biggest warning sign is the word 'mint' used in any advert. Also avoid eBay ads in capitals and/or large font. You may also look out for the word 'brought' being used by the seller to describe when the menace purchased said vehicle. Another one is 'no knocks or bangs' guaranteed to signify the exact opposite.

THIS CAR IS MINT COND!!! (run)
BROUGHT 3 MONTHS AGO AND £££ SPENT (was actually even more fucked than it is now, bought from a mate that was scrapping)
FULL SERVICE HISTORY UP TO 36k (car will be on 99k now)
JUST FITTED A NEW ENGINE BROUGHT FROM A LOW MILER (98k &
not quite as fucked as the old one)
BODYWORK IS MINT APART FROM A FEW SMALL SCRATCHES (20kg of filler applied with a cricket bat, sanded with 40grit and sprayed by stevie wonder)
NO KNOCKS OR BANGS (suspension fucked)
RECENT NEW TYRES ALL ROUND (mixed set of part worn wanglings/wangdongs all with puncture repairs)
WHEELS ALL MINT (curbed to fuck & buckled)
INTERIOR MINT (fag burns, weird water marks on seats, buttons all worn away)
ENGINE RUNS MINT JUST SERVICED (wiped the Mayo off the oil cap, put some water in the washers and added a litre of asda smart price oil to bring the level up to min before sale)
VERY FAST NOT FOR FEINT HEARTED!!