Can i just say........
Your mum has a fanny like a yawning donkey
Your sister looks like she's been bobbing for apples in a chip pan
Your wife looks like she was set on fire and put out with a golf shoe
Your daughters got a face that would make an onion cry
Your cousins got a pair of flaps like a gutted trout
And you sir have had more hands up you than sooty

other than all the above , welcome to pf and please enjoy your short stay. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits