Few years back I was in Crete, weeks holiday. there was this Northern bloke there, salesman of some kind who had a Merc and started talking to me about cars. I kept schtum that I was into cars as well as I was on holiday and didn't want to be bored senseless all week talking about motors. Anyway, I'm trying to act interested but equally playing dumb when he tells me he used to have a 500hp M3. Interest perked up, so I asked what he'd had done to get that of power, expecting him to say it was turbo's or supercharged, cams etc and and his exact words were 'it's all chipped up'. I tried to ask on the QT what else had been done without giving away that I might know a bit more than I was letting on, but he insisted the chip did it....

I steered clear of him after that, unless it was to have a look at his wife's tits as she sunbathed topless as she did have a cracking rack.