For an alabi, get 3 birds round to a mates place and get him to video you banging the fuck out of them in full view of the clock, set 3 hours forward, then go beat him up, then pop back to his place and set the clocks back to normal.

when the old bill arrive, he can claim you have been there all night and you'll have some lovely evidence of you getting your end away for them to show the mrs and her new bloke in court