Mate, im currently on anti depressants. long story short, 1st of april last year, wor lass left me and took the kids, i came home to an empty house. looking at it now, id have done the same if i was her, i wasnt doing the rite thing by her or the kids, id smoked weed for 13 years, everyday, and wasnt being a good partner or father. i spoke to her, she said she didnt want to leave, but it was unbearable, so i decided to stop smoking weed that day, keeping it short, she came back with the kids, happy days. well, for the first few weeks everything was hunky dory, but i was feeling very low, i put it down to stopping smoking weed, so just got on with it. well 6-8 weeks later, id got progressively worse, and had got to the point where i couldnt see a point anymore, in anything. talked to a few mates, they were telling me, go to the doctors, tbh, i was embarrassed to do that, not the type of thing a 'man' wants to do, tell a doctor you feel like ending it all. well after being told by pretty much everyone i know, its nothing to be ashamed about, i finally bit the bullet and went to the docs, told her everything, from stopping smoking weed, wor lass leaving me, feeling like i had no point in life, the whole 9 yards. she gave me a questionnaire to fill in while i was there. it was scored out of 28, i got 24, she said, 'your suffering from sever depression'. she gave me anti depressants. they took about 6-8 weeks to get into my system, so its not an instant cure, but once you get them into your system, they really do help. as i said, im still on the now, im not ashamed to admit, as i am know a LOT better for it, i dont mind popping one pill a day, as it keeps me on the straight and narrow, im happy. its better for me, my family, and friends, because before i started taking them, i was a nightmare to be around, i was paranoid, anxious, low, had no energy, couldnt be bothered with anything, felt i was a waste of time and a lost cause, it was torture.
Get yourself down the doctors asap, there is a way forward mate, i know you probs cant see it, and feel like there is no way out, but there is.
Im no expert, but if you want to send me a pm and talk in private, feel free.