Hi all bit of a heavy topic, but i'd like peoples experiences on what happens when you visit the Doctors for the first time, when you're diagnosed and treatments available.

Been trapped in what I can only describe as a dark room with no windows for years. Months on end of being full of self hate, telling myself I'm not good enough, snapping at people and generally wanting to be left on my own, lack of energy and motivation to do the things I enjoy and constant negative thoughts about myself even when things are going good for me.
Really should of admitted it to myself along time ago that Ive got a problem, and it wasn't the normal 'feeling down' that most people get from time to time.
I've let it rule my life for too long now and I'm sick of being the happy, smiling person I am around people, then crumbling to pieces when I'm on my own and being left locked in the dark room with no real vision of the future.
I've finally admitted it to myself after I let it wreck what could of been the best thing in my life in a long time. Thankfully I wasn't able to hide warning the signs from her and she recognised them as she had an ex go through it. If anything its made me realise I need to regain control of my life before I lose anything else to it.

So this is where I am at the present time. Although I'm scared of what the future holds, I know I will get better and get my life back to some sort of normality.

Sorry for the rambling post, just really needed to get it off my chest as I've only spoken to two people about it.

Thanks in advance in for any advice.

Rob.