It's nothing to do with the charging rate, it is the sudden spike, the better jumps leads have a surge protector between the two cars, this allows a fe seconds to slowly build the current up to the full amount.
Quite right to leave on for a 5-10 mins first.
Older cars could weld themselves together when using jump leads in the days of chrome bumpers, if the bumpers were touching and the earth lead wasn't that great it would seek earth through the cars body/bumpers, heard of it happening but never seen it myself.
A 4 mile run isn't going to do a thing to a fully flat battery, even more so in a modern car, as the ecu when controlling the charge rate charges a LOT slower than the older systems.
Just put a charger on the battery, leave connected, unless your charger is very old, it will have spike protection, this protects in this instance from AC spikes, as it can happen.
In case you leave it regularly for long periods, a AGM battery would be a lot better bet for for your use, as the self discharge rate is so much lower on these, they also cope with cold a lot better, but of course cost more.
tabetha