When benching try changing your grip so that your thumb goes the same side of the bar as your fingers. Might help change you to a better grip. Push the bar up through the bottom of the palm of your hand, ie where your thumb muscle is (the bit that looks like a chicken drumstick).

Your wrist should be slight bent back when benching and I can't see any reason why it should give way tbh. Its just being a support, no muscles involved in holding the weight.