i forgot to add My grandad has cancer of the colon and pancreas. They diagnosed him 2 weeks ago and wont operate. theres no point aparently. My nan is also really ill so they now have people in to look after them both. i feel really bad for them. once one goes, the other will too. .

Your right its a journey. a shit one at that this year. its really hard to stay positive when you just keep getting knocked back again and again. i was doing fine on my own until the missus came along. then loads of shit started with ex's etc. the above one was just the last "episode". i think once i let my guard down it all got to me.

i used to go for a spin and sort my head but i havent been able to do that for weeks and weeks, cos i cant afford a clutch its just laughable.