i reckon somethings up in my head or something i cant sleep, concentrate, i have massive mood swings, going from my normal self, which is usually really good and happy, to angry swing for the first person i see for no reason kind of mood, to wanting to cry all within 5 mins, i've put on loads of weight in the last few months (and i fucking hate that! . never mind) . I got this really sharp stabbing pain in the top/back of my head for a few weeks a while back, a couple of times a day it would really hurt and make me physically weak. thats stopped now though.

I've Had a shit year so far and i reckon its caught up with me. everything i do seems to get knocked back. work, home, love life , play. example.

Work has declined for everyone i know that, but i'm on 2 and 3 day weeks now. thats less than £200 a week sometimes.
My mom fucked off from my dad at the start of the year leaving him gutted so i had to pick up the pieces for him. he's alot better now but that still leaves a taste after 24 years of marriage, she fucks off with another bloke and a ready made setup and leaves him with fuck all. i'll never understand. he doesn't drink, smoke, gamble, never beat her up. nothing.
got my car setup at nms a few months ago spent a fortune on it tbh but i wanted it right so i could enjoy it for the summer. i ate right into my savings, 2 days later i broke my gearbox, so i got a new one, next week my clutch goes.
Decide to go back to the gym to shift this extra 2 stone thats apperred since christmas. go for 2 weeks then put my back moving wagon tyres at work. i can hardly lie flat some nights. and have to sleep sitting up. (not the most restful sleep!)
Love life, i dont even know where to start with that. My missus ring me up in tears saying she might have an std. i dont play around so it weren't from me. she rings me back 3 days later saying it was "alright it was just thrush". i tell her she cant fuck around like that and its not alright cos and std is a big thing to bring into a "closed" relationship. so that leaves me looking a right c**t. so i tell her to sling her hook. now she's sorry and is chewing at me to get back with her.

i fancy a fresh break but dont even have enough cash to do so or know where to go. i need to get away and get back to australia i think. get there at least for a long break, remind me of my travels a few years ago . i cant work there legally though thats the only problem. just thinking "out loud" fuck. does anyone fancy a ready made life? you can have mine i'll swap.

i love passionford. i know no-one, its open 24 hours and i feel...well honestly not alot better. Thanks for reading