Right, im taking the bird to see Britney Spears at the O2 in June. Ive booked the flights to Heathrow and im booked into The International in Canary Wharf for a few days. Need to know some things cos ive now looked at London and it looks fookin huge ......

1. What train station do i head for from Heathrow and roughly how much does it cost?

2. Is Madame Tussauds far from my hotel? (one of the things i said id do if i went to London)

3. Is Buckingham Palace far from my hotel?

4. Is there a large shopping bit near my hotel?

5. Am i likely to get mugged/stabbed/shot near my hotel? (the programme Soho Blues has scared me now )

Cheers, Paul