Smokey - You need to sit her down and talk to her before this situation becomes any worse.

This has happened in front of your kids for god sake!!!!

I know it is easier said than done, but i was brought up in a violent environment, and have also been a victim of domestic violence. And, as much as i am not proud to admit this, i have also hit/lashed out/thrown objects/attacked an ex partner.

For me, when i lashed out at him, it was simply to get a reaction... if we were rowing, and he wasnt really taking any notice, id pick something up and throw it at him... just so he reacted somehow... or i would literaly charge at him, and hit him as hard as i could.

Like i say i am not proud of it, but am trying to help you understand why she may be doing it.

When you row... do you shout back? or do you just stand there? Do you often react over the smallest of things? or is it usually her thats starts it?

Are either of you insecure?

Do you think she may have met someone else?

Is there a possibility either of you could be suffering from depression?

If you think there is any glimmer of hope, then do all you can to save your relationship.

Its not nice for kids to see their parents break up, but it also isnt nice for them to see their parents at each others throats.

Ultimately, if you think you can be happy together, then fight for it! 12 years is a long time to give up!

Go to your GP he/she can refer you to government funded councelling, alternatively if you cant be arsed to wait, find your local RELATE councellor, they charge about £35 an hour but they GENUINELY help couples from all walks of life and in all sorts of situations.

Good luck though whatever happens.