official dojj translation

Hello, my name R.S.2000 and I am a farmer. Due to the recent E.U. Commision ruling and dire financial situation we find ourselves in, I feel that I need to purchase a car with my enroumous subsidy for growing nothing.

With this in mind, if anyone has any road tax, any spare M.O.T. certificates, alloy wheels (preferably 17 inches in diamiter) or any other clean car parts that sound like a good bargain, I am willing to exchange my crop that was due to go to Quaker Oats for said items.

You will have to bring your own container lorry though as I don't have anything other than a combine harvester."