when i moved out years ago i moved into a flat ,there was a guy in the flat above me,few months went by and never talked to him then met him in the pub.
had a shiner but i never mentioned it for a half hour till we had a beer or two.

me"how did you get the shiner?"

him"oh my mate has started going out with this total bitch,i had only just met her and she was being a real wise cracking cow!my other mates were there with their birds who think she is sound,well i went off to the toilet and managed to sneak her handbag away with me and promtly put a log in it with peanuts n sweetcorn hanging out it!! sneaked it back next to her and waited for her to go to the bar which she did and i'll let you use you're imagination as to her reaction!"

me"so she belted you"

him"no all my mates didnt see the funny side and beat the shit out of me!"


i thought it was a classic move myself