And I know I said revenge is not a good idea, but a pint of old oil in the backbox works wonders

... Sits on the bottom, so dosn't blow out when the car starts, and dosn't smoke immediatly. A few miles down the road, the exhaust gets hot and the car smokes like a bastard, so matey goes to the garage and runs a huge bill up getting the engine overhauled as the rings seem to have gone