i've made a serius attempt to write a letter

Ref: Enforcement Notice 9971126115
I have a received a charge certificate for a parking offence on the 23rd of November 2007. The vehicle in question, registration number T18RPW, was not parked where you allege it was, 104 Western Road Southall Middlesex UB2, and the photographic evidence that you have provided to support the alleged offence clearly shows that the vehicle was stopped, with the brake lights on.
Being Stopped and being Parked are 2 totally separate issues. The vehicle was Stopped to let other traffic past in the car park entrance. It was then Parked, legally, at the premises adjoining the car park in question.
Under these circumstances I fully expect this penalty charge to be dropped and await your confirmation that this will conclude the matter.


how does that sound?
or read?

i had to rewrite it as previously i was having a rant at the fuckwit in the camera car who was so busy being a greedy fuck that he didn't realise that there was a problem in the car park, but i carefully editied it out in the second draft