when i was in secondary school our head of sixth form was a south african!

they had a very strict smoking policy (even when still in sixth form) and i got seen smoking on my way home a few times. the head of sixth form drags me into his office and says this (i'll type phonetically (sp?) so the gag makes sense):

"binnit!" (my surnames bennett)

"yes sir?"

"we av repoorts that you have been misbeehaving an your way home"

"whys that sir?"

"cas you were seen smirking"

(imagine what i suddenly started doing )

"whats so funny binnit, we have a problem with your smirking!!!"
(in tears at the time, laughing out loud)

"right, come back and see me after school, and neh more smirking"

i left in fits of giggles