I got locked in a scrapyard by accident once, thank fook they didn't have a nutty guard dog

I met my dad's new dog at the weekend for the first time. This thing's nuts, it's a little staffy and he comes at you, tail wagging, drooling like fook, and starts jumping up at you, trying to get you to stroke him lolol.

I love dogs though, my dad always had them but my mum wouldn't have one, so I only got to see them at my dad's. I think my dad having dogs probably stopped me from developing a fear of them after one went for me when I was a toddler.

We were just walking down the street and as I passed this open gate, an alsatian just lunged out and clamped its jaws round my arm, nutty fooker!

Never put me off tho. Deffo all about the upbringing.

My step brother years ago nicked a rottie out of someone's garden because this dog was treated like shit and was absolutely scared to death of people. The owners beat her so badly that she would hit the deck in the blink of an eye if you raised your hand to get something out of a cupboard, or scrath your head etc. Lucy she was called. Poor thing had been treated that badly that she associated any raised hand with an imminent beating.

Thank god they took her out of there before the bastards killed her.