The ecu cannot detect plug gap size.
The coil is over rated in terms of voltage to compensate for a bigger gap.

The wear rate of the plugs depends on how hard you drive the car and the quality
of fuel used.

Also, as a comment. Coil pack equipped cars will always wear out plugs quicker
than a car with a dizzi as plugs are fired in pairs (Wasted spark method)

I.E. twice as often.
when one plug fires normally on the compression stroke,
the opposite plug is fired on the exhaust stroke.
Usually plugs 1 and 4 are fired together and 2 and 3 together.
This is for an engine with firing order 1342