Been a while since I posted, but I'm really feeling fooked up just now. I split up with my girlfriend just over two weeks ago and I just can't get over it. I feel so bad. I feel like I'd be better off dead because my life is just such a waste and I have no confidence left inmyself anymore. I've just started at uni in Huddersfield and my housemates are all like "oh you'll meet someone else" but out of the 6 of us I'm the only person in the house not to have a partner, and I don't have anyone to go out on the prowl with as a result. But I love my ex so much and we only really split because I moved here and she lives near york and as the only one of us who drives, she finds it too hard to have to travel here to see me and only really see me at weekends.

Now, a month back she was talking about moving out with her mate. I've just told her she can stay here with me and either commute or get a job here and she said she doesn't wanna move out.

I just feel so fucked up. I've been drinking since 12 today and I think I'll be going to the pub when my cans run out. I just dunno what to do with myself. What I need to know is whether I'm actually depressed or not. I just feel so shit and keep crying all the time. I just wanna sit in the house and drink alcohol while listening to depressing music. I feel shit but when I'm with the lads I can let go a little and have a laugh. Is it possible to be able to do that when you're really depressed or would I feel so down all the time that I wouldn't even go for a drink with the lads?

Any help is much appreciated and I'm sorry to have to burden others with my shit. It just helps to let it all out.

Thanks folks....