Mk5 I'd go for the RS2000 kit, lower -40mm (personally I think 60mm too much) nice set of 17's, you sound like your heads screwed on and don't want an alloy ironing board rear spoiler

If your a member of EscEvo you've probably seen some nice examples of subtle styling already.

A good result is possible with aerosol cans but can be time consuming, although also enjoyable. The plastic black bumpers are going to be a problem, especially if any silicon bumper care products have left any residue. You may have to source some 'plasticiser' before attempting to spray - I'd use primer/filler keep rubbing down after each coat until the bumper is smooth.
Or try to get second hand colour coded ones then spray silver.

Good luck, get some pics up.

Z