know theres quite a few blakin smokers on here

anyone recommend a mobile mechanic? got an audi a3 refusing to start, has been sat for a few months.
jump leads turn the engine over but it just keeps turning until the oil pressure warning light comes on and it beeps, which is strange, i would have thought the oil pressure light would go out with cranking???!

have checked for a spark, which its got, and topped it up with fresh fuel to no avail. havent checked the plugs cos you need to take the frickin inlet manifold off to get at em

so any ideas? or recommendations?