angry email onits way to them coonts

along the lines of:

what you fookers playing at? is spend loads of my money with you lot and your service is shit, your bints on the phone sound crap actresses reading from a script, your phone system is more ocmplicated than hsbc's and now i'm sick and generally pissed off about it
if it was a one time occourance then fine, but this is about the 6th time you've fooked me about since you turned orange, the future certainly ain't bright, it's going to be red because you'll be skint after paying everyone out
not to mention i ain't been able to talk to my mrs or boy all last night when i was supposed to, how do you replace days from an 8 month old baby life without his dad being on tap 247?

you'd best be putting on some lypsyl because you've got a lot of my arse to kiss (and, in case you didn't know, i've come back from india with a proper rotten case of the trots)

or words to that effect