15 Things To Do In Tesco, if bored......

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolley
when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code
10 at Pharmacy" ... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.

6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only
invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pick your nose.

10. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.

12. In the car accessory department practice your Madonna look using
different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the foetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly...."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!

Might do No. 10 when the missus drags me there later