i feel really sorry for your girlfriend mate. thats a horrible thing that she, you and his family have to go through. i think the main thing is going to be time thats going to help. it a pain in the arse and you feel useless but it seems to be the only thing that works for people. a lot of people like to deal with by themselves (in the there head). but just being there for her and being a shoulder for her hopefully will be a big help. you have to tell her it wasnt anything to do with her. she was helping but it sounds like he already made up in his head what he wanted to do. and some people when they are in that state of mind arent going to be talked out of it.

what was his reasons for doing that?