I was there for the birth of my first born seven weeks ago. I had intended to be old fashioned and stop outside smoking a cigar!, but when the time came I just did not want to miss it.

The missus was on her knees when me son came so I did not see the business end but saw him come squirting out. I cut his cord, felt like really thick bacon rind!

I am not getting all Jerry Springer on your ass, but if you miss it I think you will regret it. Plus, the missus couldn't cope on her own, who would they moan too.

Ps, look away at the afterbirth, you've seen the film Alien!