Just got one of the dirtiest looks off a copper who went past me. So soon as the lights went i done the off. Lucky, cos he was turning round I got the car full of car boot stuff, and really don't have the time to be getting stopped.

I was thinking what to say to him if he stopped me, i came up with a few:

1) So what's it like having a slower car than me?
2) Don't tell me! Its the wife? She diddn't put out last night again?
3) I've seen monkeys doing your job, and better!
4) Was hitler your role model?
5) I always wanted to be a copper. 'Really?' ..... 'no lol'
6) You can't nick me! The cloesest you'll get to nicking something, is when you shave!
7) Were you bullied at school?

Shame i can never say them though