7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

T'is my dad all over *real tears*


23. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"

24. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo.

Phil...

Fantastic though