Your almost as mad as me by the sound of it

Well, a lot of info to take in, not completely sure where the problem lies, hope im not sounding silly, but why dont you get the wiring diagram fore your car, and the diagram for the engine and ECU combination you have now, and cross reference between the two?

If im being totally ignorant to something youve already typed i appologise now! I'll try and help as best i can