I think you are the kind of mate that anyone would be really lucky to have, but I'm with Clare on this one - you told her to concentrate on the debts and even when she asked you a few weeks ago (a month ago maybe?) if you wanted it in dribs and drabs or in a lump you told her no rush, and to concentrate on clearing the others.

That could have been her trying to tell you about the bonus, but she went and paid off some of the rest as you told her to.

As someone who has earned my living in finance for over 20 years, NEVER lend money to ANYONE you want to keep as a mate. And don't be surprised when you don't always get it back.