jacko, what you want to do is the following
1) get a big chequebook
2) give car and a blank cheque to a tuner
3) recive a very fast car, do some speed tests then brag EVERYTIME ON ANY POST EVER how fast and clever you are

or you could carry out some research and do a bit of engineering, have an interesting project, learn about how things work and probably have some fun doing it as well

As someone before has said, cooper superchargers are very cheap, you can pick them up on ebay brand new for 100 quid, if you can't get hold of one PM me I have a mate who works for BMW and I might be able to get hold of one for you