Temperature Scale
>The Fahrenheit Temperature scale.
>
>50 degrees:
>Southerners turn on their heating.
>People in Sunderland plant their gardens.
>
>40 degrees:
>Southerners shiver uncontrollably.
>People in Sunderland sunbathe.
>
>35 degrees:
>Southern cars will not start.
>People in Sunderland drive with the windows down.
>
>20 degrees:
>Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats.
>People in Sunderland throw on a T*shirt. (girls start wearing mini*skirts)
>
>15 degrees:
>Southerners begin to evacuate.
>People in Sunderland go swimming in the North Sea.
>
>ZERO degrees:
>Southern landlords turn up the heat.
>People in Sunderland have the last barbeque before it gets cold.
>
>MINUS 10
>Southerners cease to exist.
>People in Sunderland throw on a lightweight jacket.
>
>MINUS 80
>Polar bears wonder if it's worth it.
>Boy scouts in Sunderland start wearing long trousers.
>
>MINUS 100
>Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
>People in Sunderland put on their long johns.
>
>MINUS 173
>Alcohol freezes.
>People in Sunderland become frustrated because the pubs are shut.
>
>MINUS 297
>Microbial life starts to disappear.
>The cows on a Sunderland farm complain of vets with cold hands.
>
>MINUS 460
>All atomic motion stops.
>People in Sunderland start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.
>
>MINUS 500
>Hell freezes over.
>Newcastle United win a trophy.