The Aberdeen Ford driver
16-03-2005, 10:31 PM
#1
It Wasnt Me!
Thread Starter
The Aberdeen Ford driver
A hip young Aberdeen Loon goes out and buys the best car available
in Kincorth, a 1983 Fiesta Cosworth Turbo with full body kit, big
f*ck-off alloys and a fin on the roof. It is the most expensive car at
Kincorth Used Car sales, and THE cooolest car his mates have ever
necked eccies in, down at the booly fer ages. And, obviously its a real
hit with the classy Aberdeen quines frequenting the beach area....
Anyway, he takes it out for a spin to do his weekly shop
lifting at Berryden and actually stops for a red traffic light
totally out of character). An old man (about 95 years old) pulls up next to him in a three wheel invalid buggy. The old man looks over at the gleaming mean piece of contempory and sophisticated car design and asks, "Fit kind of car you got there, loon?" The young loon replies, "Its a Fista Cozzy Turbo bollocks, it's a total fannie magnet like!"
"Oh you mean the young ladies like it?," says the old man, And why do the young ladies like it?" he asks, "Cos its got Recaro seats an a 15 inch bass woofer an a multi-changer CD an its fast as f*ck like!" states the young loon beaming with pride. The wee old mannie asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "Nae problem," replies the loon. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around only to be blasted with the inane
banging sounds of 'Ibiza Large-it Tosspots 2001' or something. Then
sitting back into his rickety old invalid buggy, the old man says, "That's a
pretty nice motor ken right enough.......but I'll stick with my wee buggy....
its nice and quiet, a bit on the slow side, but it always gets me there in the end." Just then, the light changes to green so the loon decides to show the old git just what his car can really do Heh Heh. He floors it,
and within 5 seconds the speedometer reads 70 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, Vroooooom!! something whips by him, going much faster!!! "What the f*ck could be going faster than my Fiesta bollocks Turbo?!", the confused young loon asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Fiesta Cozzy bollocks Turbo up to 110mph. Then,up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man in the invalid buggy. Amazed that the buggy could pass his Turbo bollocks Cozzy he gives it some more "pedal tae tha metal like...." and passes the invalid buggy at 140mph. Vroooooooom!!! He's feeling pretty cool until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again. Astounded by the speed of the old twat, he 'floors the fu*ker again' and takes the Turbo Charged Fannie Magnet all the way up to 170 mph. Not ten seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Cozzy is absolutely flat out. Blue smoke everywhere and the loon is starting to bottle it. But there's nothing he can do to go any faster! The old coffin dodger in the buggy is STILL gaining on the misguided wee speed freak.......Untill suddenly, a sickening thud!!!!!........the sound of twisted metal and muffled screams is heard...... the old mannie and the invalid buggy smash into the back of the Fiesta Cozzy Turbo, totally demolishing the rear spoilers, the funny black indicators,the 'high performance' rear bumper and (of course) the 'Eccosse' badge. The young man jumps out, there's blood, false teeth and half of Halfords car accessories department all over the road, but unbelievably, the old mannie is still alive!!! He runs up to the twisted and mangled old git and stutters, "Oh my God...... Is there anything I can dee for you?" The old man coughs up some blood and used car parts, then whispers with his dying breath, "Aye son, could ya unhook my f*cking braces from your wing mirror....." LOL
"Fit kind of car you got there, loon?"
in Kincorth, a 1983 Fiesta Cosworth Turbo with full body kit, big
f*ck-off alloys and a fin on the roof. It is the most expensive car at
Kincorth Used Car sales, and THE cooolest car his mates have ever
necked eccies in, down at the booly fer ages. And, obviously its a real
hit with the classy Aberdeen quines frequenting the beach area....
Anyway, he takes it out for a spin to do his weekly shop
lifting at Berryden and actually stops for a red traffic light
totally out of character). An old man (about 95 years old) pulls up next to him in a three wheel invalid buggy. The old man looks over at the gleaming mean piece of contempory and sophisticated car design and asks, "Fit kind of car you got there, loon?" The young loon replies, "Its a Fista Cozzy Turbo bollocks, it's a total fannie magnet like!"
"Oh you mean the young ladies like it?," says the old man, And why do the young ladies like it?" he asks, "Cos its got Recaro seats an a 15 inch bass woofer an a multi-changer CD an its fast as f*ck like!" states the young loon beaming with pride. The wee old mannie asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "Nae problem," replies the loon. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around only to be blasted with the inane
banging sounds of 'Ibiza Large-it Tosspots 2001' or something. Then
sitting back into his rickety old invalid buggy, the old man says, "That's a
pretty nice motor ken right enough.......but I'll stick with my wee buggy....
its nice and quiet, a bit on the slow side, but it always gets me there in the end." Just then, the light changes to green so the loon decides to show the old git just what his car can really do Heh Heh. He floors it,
and within 5 seconds the speedometer reads 70 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, Vroooooom!! something whips by him, going much faster!!! "What the f*ck could be going faster than my Fiesta bollocks Turbo?!", the confused young loon asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Fiesta Cozzy bollocks Turbo up to 110mph. Then,up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man in the invalid buggy. Amazed that the buggy could pass his Turbo bollocks Cozzy he gives it some more "pedal tae tha metal like...." and passes the invalid buggy at 140mph. Vroooooooom!!! He's feeling pretty cool until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again. Astounded by the speed of the old twat, he 'floors the fu*ker again' and takes the Turbo Charged Fannie Magnet all the way up to 170 mph. Not ten seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Cozzy is absolutely flat out. Blue smoke everywhere and the loon is starting to bottle it. But there's nothing he can do to go any faster! The old coffin dodger in the buggy is STILL gaining on the misguided wee speed freak.......Untill suddenly, a sickening thud!!!!!........the sound of twisted metal and muffled screams is heard...... the old mannie and the invalid buggy smash into the back of the Fiesta Cozzy Turbo, totally demolishing the rear spoilers, the funny black indicators,the 'high performance' rear bumper and (of course) the 'Eccosse' badge. The young man jumps out, there's blood, false teeth and half of Halfords car accessories department all over the road, but unbelievably, the old mannie is still alive!!! He runs up to the twisted and mangled old git and stutters, "Oh my God...... Is there anything I can dee for you?" The old man coughs up some blood and used car parts, then whispers with his dying breath, "Aye son, could ya unhook my f*cking braces from your wing mirror....." LOL
"Fit kind of car you got there, loon?"
Trending Topics
16-03-2005, 10:58 PM
#8
15K+ Super Poster!!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: South Wales, GB
Posts: 18,745
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
PMSL, been to Aberdeen cool place, lot of young lads driving about in sweet cars as they work of shore for most of the time
Well actuall i went to Frasburgh (sp)
17-03-2005, 06:06 AM
#9
Part of the Furniture
Join Date: May 2004
Location: SCOTLAND
Posts: 189
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Rhys
PMSL, been to Aberdeen cool place, lot of young lads driving about in sweet cars as they work of shore for most of the time
Well actuall i went to Frasburgh (sp)
17-03-2005, 01:00 PM
#21
Regular Contributor
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: aberdeenshire
Posts: 252
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
nah sorry mate not heard of that but will ask about, i know a bout pot holes i didn,t buy 2 houses cause the rs would have even made it up the track
wife wernt to happy when i told here the reason i didn,t like the house
wife wernt to happy when i told here the reason i didn,t like the house
17-03-2005, 01:17 PM
#24
PassionFord Post Whore!!
iTrader: (5)
Join Date: May 2004
Location: onshore at the moment
Posts: 4,320
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by davie0146
i didn,t buy 2 houses cause the rs would have even made it up the track
wife wernt to happy when i told here the reason i didn,t like the house
wife wernt to happy when i told here the reason i didn,t like the house
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
borboyous
Cars for Sale
6
22-08-2015 11:17 AM
borboyous
Cars & Parts Wanted.
1
14-08-2015 06:51 PM
RIB1122
Ford RS Cosworth Parts for Sale
0
12-08-2015 08:51 PM
