Your worst alcohol-related injury
09-02-2005, 11:01 AM
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Your worst alcohol-related injury
Just been discussing this with a mate... Share your drunk-and-fell-over-stories here!
Mine : Coming in through the front door, absolutely steaming blind drunk. We were doing the kitchen at the time, so the hall was full of boxes of sharp things. I remember doing three graceful pirouttes, and falling headlong into a box of knives (yes, it's true). scar 5mm away from my right eye, cuts all over me, and I slept there for some time as well
My mate's : Falling through a glass door panel and slicing off two of his fingers, carving his wrist open, and nearly removing his little finger as well.
Pretty bad, but there's gotta be worse!
Mine : Coming in through the front door, absolutely steaming blind drunk. We were doing the kitchen at the time, so the hall was full of boxes of sharp things. I remember doing three graceful pirouttes, and falling headlong into a box of knives (yes, it's true). scar 5mm away from my right eye, cuts all over me, and I slept there for some time as well
My mate's : Falling through a glass door panel and slicing off two of his fingers, carving his wrist open, and nearly removing his little finger as well.
Pretty bad, but there's gotta be worse!
09-02-2005, 11:05 AM
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New Year's Eve.
Decided to race my mate to the end of his garden and back.
I ran as fast as I could, and didn't see the barbed wire at the end.
Ended up like Steve McQueen at the end of the Great Escape
Decided to race my mate to the end of his garden and back.
I ran as fast as I could, and didn't see the barbed wire at the end.
Ended up like Steve McQueen at the end of the Great Escape
09-02-2005, 11:06 AM
#3
Professional Waffler
My worst injury was walking (well ok staggering) home. I was asked the time by a couple of lads. I gave them the time and they then demanded I hand over my watch wallet and phone. A skirmish followed and I head butted one of them. Problem was due to being half cut my aim was off and hit him with my nose which promptly expoloded 
Fookers then ran off.
Mate (not drunk wethink) put both legs through one leg hole in his pants and fell over against the bedpost breaking a couple of ribs
Fookers then ran off.Mate (not drunk wethink) put both legs through one leg hole in his pants and fell over against the bedpost breaking a couple of ribs
09-02-2005, 11:08 AM
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Mine was biking (pedal) back from the pub, sponsored by Stella & Smirnoff, a few years back thinking I was some kind of stunt rider, did an endo, bit keen on the brakes, fucked over the handle bars, was in complete agony, somehow slept it off but had to go to A&E in the morning. I had managed to break my colar bone, put me out of action for 6 weeks!
Annoying thing is my mate used to arse off every week fucking about + always landed in a mess on the floor, but never injured himself!
09-02-2005, 11:14 AM
#7
DEYTUKURJERBS
Right, drunken ones, well thats most of em...
Me-
Falling flat on my face and biting my teeth clean thru my lip (Xmas day, 3am, KFC )
Or getting bottled in a fight and having my lip n cheek sliced in half
Mates-
Being thrown thru a plate glass window (TSB) in a fight and cutting back of head down to the bone (1st and hopefully last time i see a living persons skull!)
Falling from some 2nd strorey scaffolding onto his head (another post clubbing bit of fun )
Being slapped by a girl, then a lovely 5 hit combo int he face (by a mate ), then another punch that cut his eye open (another mate ) then thrown out by the bouncers, then hit by a car doing about 40mph and breaking his foot
Bit by a rottweiler and the muscle in the back of his leg all hanging out the hole
Christ i could go on all day but they a few that quickly spring to mind
Me-
Falling flat on my face and biting my teeth clean thru my lip
(Xmas day, 3am, KFC )Or getting bottled in a fight and having my lip n cheek sliced in half
Mates-
Being thrown thru a plate glass window (TSB) in a fight and cutting back of head down to the bone (1st and hopefully last time i see a living persons skull!)
Falling from some 2nd strorey scaffolding onto his head (another post clubbing bit of fun
)Being slapped by a girl, then a lovely 5 hit combo int he face (by a mate
), then another punch that cut his eye open (another mate ) then thrown out by the bouncers, then hit by a car doing about 40mph and breaking his foot Bit by a rottweiler and the muscle in the back of his leg all hanging out the hole
Christ i could go on all day but they a few that quickly spring to mind
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09-02-2005, 11:14 AM
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Found a kettecar pedlo thing on the estate on the plod home, got in/on it and proceeded to zoom down the hill, sharp 90% left turn to avoid the oncoming wall i falls out/off the thing and skidded along the road at 20mph on me arse.
Serious gravel rash on me arse
Serious gravel rash on me arse
09-02-2005, 11:19 AM
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A couple of year back we went to a RWYB at the pod, I was picked up from my mates house early sunday mornin while still on the sesh, continued to drink thru the day when i decided i would do a Roly Poly down the embankment facing the strip, but ened up head first into the fence and off work for 2 weeks with a fooked back
09-02-2005, 11:22 AM
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After an England game, rolling out the pub, to go across the road to some club.
Two mates walked straight out in the road in front of a Mondeo taxi, and got hit by it at about 40mph.
One went straight up in the air like a rag doll, and the other's head went through the windscreen.
Both of them were, cut, bruised, battered, and arrested
Two mates walked straight out in the road in front of a Mondeo taxi, and got hit by it at about 40mph.
One went straight up in the air like a rag doll, and the other's head went through the windscreen.
Both of them were, cut, bruised, battered, and arrested
09-02-2005, 11:22 AM
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not self inflicted ....
but my mate must have an obession with nipple cripples after a few drinks. it means i normally wake up after a night out with black and blue nipples!!
he must secretly want me!!
but my mate must have an obession with nipple cripples after a few drinks. it means i normally wake up after a night out with black and blue nipples!!
he must secretly want me!!
09-02-2005, 11:24 AM
#13
Professional Waffler
Mate of mine got drunk and decided he wanted a pierced nipple so did it himself with a sewing needle None of us beleived he DIY'd it so he showed us on the other nipple a week or so later
None of us beleived he DIY'd it so he showed us on the other nipple a week or so later
09-02-2005, 11:34 AM
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mines not to bad, used to have a peircing inside my ear.....crunken play fight, went to throw a mate in a skip and as i let go his shoe caught my ear and ripped the fooker straight through never seen so much blood
and as i let go his shoe caught my ear and ripped the fooker straight through never seen so much blood
09-02-2005, 11:42 AM
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went on a all dayer with my mate ended up in town after going home to get changed went to a bar called mcluskeys outside were tram works with 8ft temporary fencing after a few in thier we came out and the next bar was straight faceing but these tramworks were straight infront so it was either walk all the way round or be kids and jump the fence 
so jumps over no probs gets to other side jumps up on the next fence as i jump off fence comes with me then flicks back looks at my left hand shredded beef thier were spikes on the cooont and i had pushed all my weight down on it then jumped mate looked at it as i carried on walking as was steamin and he runs off white as a sheet to phone an ambulance got to the hospital the cue for a+e was to big so being steamin got a taxi home, next morning woke up thinking ahh a graze nearlly blew chanks when i took the bandages off straight to the hospital kept in 4 days blood poisening was orrible when they were cleaning it out was some pysco bitch man no shit she was playing rod stewarts first cut is the deepest wanted to chin her she gave me 12 needles in my palm and wrist i later found out i only need have 1 told ya PYSCO!!! stitched up nice and healed narrowly avoided possible lockjaw from tendon damage in hand?
so jumps over no probs gets to other side jumps up on the next fence as i jump off fence comes with me then flicks back looks at my left hand shredded beef thier were spikes on the cooont and i had pushed all my weight down on it then jumped mate looked at it as i carried on walking as was steamin and he runs off white as a sheet to phone an ambulance got to the hospital the cue for a+e was to big so being steamin got a taxi home, next morning woke up thinking ahh a graze nearlly blew chanks when i took the bandages off straight to the hospital kept in 4 days blood poisening was orrible when they were cleaning it out was some pysco bitch man no shit she was playing rod stewarts first cut is the deepest wanted to chin her she gave me 12 needles in my palm and wrist i later found out i only need have 1 told ya PYSCO!!! stitched up nice and healed narrowly avoided possible lockjaw from tendon damage in hand?
09-02-2005, 11:48 AM
#17
after high school GCSE certificate night in 1998, went to a pub with my mates and we got served!! on our stagger home i fell in front of a police van crossing the road, then proceeded to scarper with the others - got away and noticed the bloody mess that was the palm of my hand
Had to go to A&E the next night and watch my hand being cleaned of grit and the remaining skin being cut off with a kind of hooked scalpel as i had lost most of the skin off the palm of my hand - didn't heal for ages, just a big raw wound
My best mate at college saw his identical twin get hit by a car on a student night out - these were the most identical twins i have ever seen. Must have been like watching himself get run over
on our stagger home i fell in front of a police van crossing the road, then proceeded to scarper with the others - got away and noticed the bloody mess that was the palm of my handHad to go to A&E the next night and watch my hand being cleaned of grit and the remaining skin being cut off with a kind of hooked scalpel as i had lost most of the skin off the palm of my hand - didn't heal for ages, just a big raw wound
My best mate at college saw his identical twin get hit by a car on a student night out - these were the most identical twins i have ever seen. Must have been like watching himself get run over
09-02-2005, 12:10 PM
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Trying to be 'Mr Cool' at the end of a bar, similar to that sketch Del Trotter did but instead of leaning on the bar hatch, i leaned against a door. The push-bar fire escape opened with my weight on it , i fell backwards, my brother with his cat-like reactions caught my bottle of Bud as it dropped and i ended up backwards down 30 concrete steps into the basement of this club. Apparently i climbed back up the steps (i say apparently as i have no recollection of anything after the fall)and took the bottle of Bud off my brother then collapsed in a heap no the floor lmfao
Bouncers carried me out, put me in a taxi to the hospital (flat out on the floor in a black cab lol) where they refused to treat me until i no longer smelt of alcohol. I attempted to walk from my lying down position on the trolley (with neck collar on) only to find my foot, now facing the other way, couldn't take my weight ! another crumpled heap, but now the alcohol was wearing off, it hurt a bit !
12 hours later, i've got pins and steel in my right leg, 3 broken ribs, a melon sized lump on my head and have suffered blackouts ever since. That was 1998, which is fun ! LMFAO
Lesson learnt ? Don't drink Bud, it gives you a f*cking headache the next day !
Bouncers carried me out, put me in a taxi to the hospital (flat out on the floor in a black cab lol) where they refused to treat me until i no longer smelt of alcohol. I attempted to walk from my lying down position on the trolley (with neck collar on) only to find my foot, now facing the other way, couldn't take my weight ! another crumpled heap, but now the alcohol was wearing off, it hurt a bit !
12 hours later, i've got pins and steel in my right leg, 3 broken ribs, a melon sized lump on my head and have suffered blackouts ever since. That was 1998, which is fun ! LMFAO
Lesson learnt ? Don't drink Bud, it gives you a f*cking headache the next day !
09-02-2005, 12:16 PM
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I had a really nasty ingrowing toe nail which I was avoiding seeing the doctor about. The toenail had grown into each side of the toe and burst through the outside causing a fungal and bacterial infection. Which caused me great pain.
I was in the pub one night and a mate who knew I had this bad toe thought it would be funny to stamp on it. So I spent the night drinking the pain off.
Got home pissed and decided to play surgeon and sort the whole toe out. I figured providing I could cut the nail out of the flesh I'd be OK. I went on a hunt for some decent sissors but could only find a bottle of TCP, some pliers and some cotton wool. I got right in there with the toe hacking, prising back raw flesh and trying to pull out bits of nail.
I thought I'd done a pretty could job and went to sleep. Woke up in absolute agony with my toe stuck to the duvet, looked at it and I'd made a right mess of it. Looked over to the table and there was blood everywhere and the pliers sat there with flesh still on the tips
I was in the pub one night and a mate who knew I had this bad toe thought it would be funny to stamp on it. So I spent the night drinking the pain off.
Got home pissed and decided to play surgeon and sort the whole toe out. I figured providing I could cut the nail out of the flesh I'd be OK. I went on a hunt for some decent sissors but could only find a bottle of TCP, some pliers and some cotton wool. I got right in there with the toe hacking, prising back raw flesh and trying to pull out bits of nail.
I thought I'd done a pretty could job and went to sleep. Woke up in absolute agony with my toe stuck to the duvet, looked at it and I'd made a right mess of it. Looked over to the table and there was blood everywhere and the pliers sat there with flesh still on the tips
09-02-2005, 12:20 PM
#22
Team HOTHOT!
brantingham East Yorks RSOC show a couple a of years ago, a few of us from the xroc camped over and had copious amounts of alcohol, me been the fool, way to much, went running round the field and straight into a metal spike with bunting on (at 2am you don't notice stuff like that), not only did it rip my trousers clean off me, it took my nacker sack with a good gouge aswell
such a silly idea letting me loose in a field with alcohol
such a silly idea letting me loose in a field with alcohol
09-02-2005, 12:30 PM
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it took my nacker sack with a good gouge aswell
Thanks for clearing that up!
09-02-2005, 12:41 PM
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Ummm i remember getting silly drunk one night at the pub and fell into their fire place.....
Luckily there was nothing burning in it at the time.... i just got covered with ash and scraped some skin off my arms....
Luckily there was nothing burning in it at the time.... i just got covered with ash and scraped some skin off my arms....
09-02-2005, 12:42 PM
#25
Team HOTHOT!
Originally Posted by BlueSmoke
it took my nacker sack with a good gouge aswell
Thanks for clearing that up!
cnutoff jay, ya fat fucker
09-02-2005, 12:50 PM
#27
DEYTUKURJERBS
speaking of ballsack pain, i know somoene who badly fell of their bike and had their ballsack literally slice open at the bottom and both nads literally hang out, had to be took to hospital and sewn back up
not drink related but il never forget once at school (prob about 8y/o) we was playing footy and i accidently kicked this kid (scottish kid called david brae, couldnt say porridge and had a snotty nose ) in the nuts and hed just had an operation on them, stitches mustve split and within a few secs his trousers went red...
then again childbirth when the bird hasnt got a big bucket and the poor cow practicly explodes giving birth sounds far worse, a story i was told about someones mrs whenshe had a kid still haunts me to this day, was proper disgusting
only good sounding bit was "well at least theyve sewn her back up even tighter than she was before"
not drink related but il never forget once at school (prob about 8y/o) we was playing footy and i accidently kicked this kid (scottish kid called david brae, couldnt say porridge and had a snotty nose
) in the nuts and hed just had an operation on them, stitches mustve split and within a few secs his trousers went red... then again childbirth when the bird hasnt got a big bucket and the poor cow practicly explodes giving birth sounds far worse, a story i was told about someones mrs whenshe had a kid still haunts me to this day, was proper disgusting
only good sounding bit was "well at least theyve sewn her back up even tighter than she was before"
09-02-2005, 12:53 PM
#28
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Originally Posted by cossiechris
12 hours later, i've got pins and steel in my right leg, 3 broken ribs, a melon sized lump on my head and have suffered blackouts ever since. That was 1998, which is fun ! LMFAO
09-02-2005, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted by SapphyMike
Originally Posted by cossiechris
12 hours later, i've got pins and steel in my right leg, 3 broken ribs, a melon sized lump on my head and have suffered blackouts ever since. That was 1998, which is fun ! LMFAO
09-02-2005, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Graceland
Originally Posted by BlueSmoke
it took my nacker sack with a good gouge aswell
Thanks for clearing that up!
cnutoff jay, ya fat fucker
Oh the pain!
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