Anonymous

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.


REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 387 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 22 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 192 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 112 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 178 Calories
69 standing up......................... 312 Calories
Wheelbarrow............................ 386 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 400 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 972 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
Fake.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

ballin

iTrader: (1)

brilliant

dont get the rollweiler bit tho

Daveyboy

quickly edited tsk tsk

Anonymous

I guess one of the mods felt some of the content wasnt appropriate cause i havent edited it!

Daveyboy

thats even worse you now have a mod to edit your posts rather than give you a ban! 'kin ell!!!

Dan

Fuckin quality Chip!

Did you mean Rotweiler? If so I still can't see which bit you mean?

Dan

Bugger!

Daveyboy

it was a blatent pop at Phil and his rotties again...one which IS a bannable offence. Clearly rather than ban chip though, some nice mod has ust edited his post so as not to have to ban him.

ballin

iTrader: (1)

i assumed rotweiler but it said rollweiler which was even more baffling

Anonymous

Its a free service to all plantinum members, you should sign up

You only qualify though if you post something thats blatantly done just for humour but you manage to cross a line by accident, it doesnt work if there is any malice, you still get the ban then

Anonymous

Davey, thats both your posts you have edited now, you are editing them quicker than i can reply to them, please just try and make your mind up the first time

Mr Shannon

Selling injectors whilst on the job, now that multi-tasking

D19 STE

Cola

Chip, if you did have a pop at Phil over his dogs when he hasn't even posted (and I can't think why Dave would lie lol) that not nice at all.

Think of others too, yeah I'm sure some people who actually got it unlike baove might find it funny. But you also know that someone who is here practically every day lost their dog last week.

Very poor darts

Anonymous

I didnt have a pop at anyone over their dogs, you are reading the posts replying about it and seeing it out of context, i made a joke about having sex with dogs but that was all, we have a little dog that i love very dearly (thats not where i got the figures from though, LOL). so i would have no reason to bitch at people who like dogs in any malicous way.

Ive also donated to various Dog related charities over the years, ive got a lot of time for dogs, I think they tend to try and see the good in people (My dog loves everyone he meets for example ) and thats always a good thing, shame there arent more people like that


I can PM you roughly what i said if you like (cant remember the exact number of calories etc) but obviously i cant post it on here again as if a mod chose to remove it then i have to respect their decision on it not being here.