Things you can say about your car that you would never get away with saying about your missus...

 

I am being an idiot? I don't get that?

 

Afew examples

It's worth far more in bits...

its pretty easy to open up and get in...

The ride gets much more intense if she's on nitrous oxide.

Whenever things get messy, I wish the flaps were bigger.

etc

 

I threw up in the back of it and left it until it went mouldy.

I put a new knob in it but it's too big for my hand.

I bought a cheap stereo to fill the hole.

I hung out the back of it having a pee whilst my mate was ragging it down the motorway.

You can fit seven adults in comfortably.

I could go on all day

 

She's a bit hairy in the corners!

You can get the arse out anytime!

My mates have all had a go!

Your turn......

 

"she rides well for an old girl"

"lots of bumps and denks, and a big crack too"

 

" doesnt seem like a very good ride "

" not much feedback from it when nailing it "

 

"It doesn't really go that well"

"Once she's upto speed she goes like stink"

"Makes like a jellyfish when giving it a good spanking"

 

I'm still learning but.........

It's got a saggy rear end ??

 

i love it when the arse comes out

plenty of room in the rear

you can slide in the backdoor very easily

only needs a few quid spent on it now and then

 

She's never let me down

 

Looks a bit tatty but she doesnt half go!

 

Its good with sticky rubber.

 

responds well to a good thrash about in the woods

 

When I give her a good thrashing she starts to fart and splutter.

 

-She's bloody pissing coolant everywhere.
-Look at the smoke coming out its rear.

 

Upholstery need some major work

Loads of spare tyres on this one.

A good jump start in the morning gets it going.

Probably best to keep it in a garage

Best to scrap it