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Old 02-05-2012, 02:42 PM   #1
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Default just had some heartbreaking news.i feel gutted

my wife (seperated for nearly 2years) just text me to say she's 4 months pregnant. The father turns out to be this guy from work who i suspected of them having an affair which led to us seperateing.

We were like soulmates and i even paid for us to get married on the beach in the carabian. I met her when we were twenty and with her for 8years.

I feel like someone has ripped my heart out as all i wanted was to be a dad once we were married and now she's 4 months pregnant.

Why should i feel gutted when we been seperated for nearly 2 years.
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:43 PM   #2
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i dont even know why i wrote this but dont know who to talk to
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:46 PM   #3
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its best to speak about things tbh in any way.
Sounds like you still have feelings for her its hard to no to tho being with someone so long.
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:48 PM   #4
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Chin up mate, nothing you can do to change it so I'm not going to try and waffle on.The only thing you can do is stay positive, get out there and get on with it. If I were you and you're finding it difficult I'd not speak to her and avoid all contact to take your mind off it or you'll never move on. if it wasnt "him" it would have been someone else along the line so don't get caught up in that either, sounds harsh but move on, she obviously has. All the best.
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:55 PM   #5
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never good mate, you have my number, need anything just drop me a text! all the best mate
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:57 PM   #6
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Lukey,

I'm assuming you are still in contact with her to stay friends?

if so, now is the time to sever all contact, wish her well and then sever ALL ties, dont look back and get on with your life and meet someone better.

being in contact with her/finding out news etc about her and her new life is obviously very deeply upsetting for you and it will only mess with your head even more as time passes on.

no need to be nasty, either tell her straight or dont txt/call her, dont answer her calls/respond to her texts

She's obviously moved on and is happy with her life, so there's no point in beating yourself up about it.

life is too short to dwell on things, get out there and give a few birds some pork sword and dont give her another thought (i know its easy to say and hard to do) but it'll be for the best.
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:58 PM   #7
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its taken me 2years to finally start seeing women and being intimate with them. It was worth the wait as i smashed this birds back doors in! but thats not the point. She has moved out obviously but still see her once a week as she comes to walk our 3 husky's.

The only thing i can ever trust is my cossie.
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Old 02-05-2012, 02:59 PM   #8
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never good mate, you have my number, need anything just drop me a text! all the best mate
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:00 PM   #9
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thats to far you bender!
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:02 PM   #10
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cheers magnum but i see her once a week. The thing that hurts the most is she always said nothing was going on with this bloke even though people from her work told me something was. I done anything for that girl, just goes to show u being nice gets u no where
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:05 PM   #11
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she's coming round once a week to walk the dogs, christ!.
Hows that gonna feel when she's coming round with a big pregnancy bump!, it'll do your fruit in even more.

it'd be interesting to see what her reaction would be if the situation was reversed, would you still be seeing her once per week to walk her dogs, or would you be considered a complete b'stard and not allowed anywhere near her
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:05 PM   #12
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just goes to show u being nice gets u no where
thats why ive given up and im buying the saph, take GJAV for a blast as i know that would make me feel better.
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:07 PM   #13
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Or simply put another way Luke. She has spared no thought for your feelings, so why waste another second of your life worrying about her? Walk the huskys is soemthing you could do and enjoy imo. All the best
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:08 PM   #14
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thats why ive given up and im buying the saph, take GJAV for a blast as i know that would make me feel better.
Fuck it im going to change my middle name to luke javier swan so i got a personalised plate lol
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:10 PM   #15
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Fuck it im going to change my middle name to luke javier swan so i got a personalised plate lol
you could always come up here
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:11 PM   #16
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she's coming round once a week to walk the dogs, christ!.
Hows that gonna feel when she's coming round with a big pregnancy bump!, it'll do your fruit in even more.

it'd be interesting to see what her reaction would be if the situation was reversed, would you still be seeing her once per week to walk her dogs, or would you be considered a complete b'stard and not allowed anywhere near her
Yer thats a good point mate. I bet she'd kick of i was living with a new women and she had to come back to see it. She would probally be like "get that women out my house, just because i dont live there doesnt mean its not my house". She is still on the mortgage and the bank wont let me take her of apparently
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:13 PM   #17
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awww bud i can image how u feel but she has clearley moved on and its time for you to u will be a dad just with the right person and i know u most probabley though you was going to be with her thats why it still hurts chin up mate .
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:13 PM   #18
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Or simply put another way Luke. She has spared no thought for your feelings, so why waste another second of your life worrying about her? Walk the huskys is soemthing you could do and enjoy imo. All the best
Cheers rich
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:16 PM   #19
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awww bud i can image how u feel but she has clearley moved on and its time for you to u will be a dad just with the right person and i know u most probabley though you was going to be with her thats why it still hurts chin up mate .
Yer its a cunt mate. We got our own place, 3huskys got married, next step was kids. It felt so right to be a dad then, now i feel like whats the point
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:17 PM   #20
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The way you are feeling is totally natural. You will find a way to rise above it all sooner or later, but this would be a massive blow to any man's ego. Chin up!
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:19 PM   #21
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Yer its a cunt mate. We got our own place, 3huskys got married, next step was kids. It felt so right to be a dad then, now i feel like whats the point
mate i know youd make a great dad, the right lass will come along, everything will get better mate
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:25 PM   #22
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sounds like shit, hope it gets better for you mate
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:31 PM   #23
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I used to see my ex fiancée to go see our 2 rotties, made it loads worse for me so cut ties, said a very teary fair well to my 2 dogs and never went around the house again.
Helped loads to get over it so you need to do the same mate.

Chin up pal.
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:59 PM   #24
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its harsh, my ex wife wanted a third kid . i didnt so i was surplus to requirements. within a week she had someone else staying and now has that 3rd kid she wanted. we were together 15 years and have 2 kids.
but things always turn out well. now im shagging a fit blonde with big jugs 15 years younger than me
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:01 PM   #25
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i cant carlos as dogs live with me in the house. I cant stop her coming round as legally its still our house so she can come round when she wants. I could never get rid of my dogs. There the most loyal loving things i'l ever meet. There always happy to see u and stay faithfull, fuck it im going to marry my dogs lol
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:04 PM   #26
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its harsh, my ex wife wanted a third kid . i didnt so i was surplus to requirements. within a week she had someone else staying and now has that 3rd kid she wanted. we were together 15 years and have 2 kids.
but things always turn out well. now im shagging a fit blonde with big jugs 15 years younger than me
Get some picks up mate!hahaha

Seriously though that must of been tough. Dont get me wrong i could slept with quite a few women but it just doesnt feel right.
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:07 PM   #27
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get the divorce sorted on grounds of adultery and name the other guy as reason
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:12 PM   #28
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its hard mate but i found it easier to cut all ties........

my wife and i had been together 16 years when we seperated, we had three kids aged 6,10 and 11............ i ended up with custody of the two boys and my daughter decided to stay with her mum. 3 1/2 years later she fell pregnant and the father was a lad i grew up with through cubs, scouts, army cadets and then the regs........... i didn't know which one i wanted to kill first........... thanks to my kids they still have a father who loves them dearly and my daughter even lived with me for a while.....

the little boy is four this month and even though i hate the fact he exists i can't hate the child, i'm like an uncle to him, his father didn't want to know him and the father in me can't see how someone doesn't want their child. as for the wife, yep we're still married but getting nearer a divorce and me rarely talk i take my youngest now nearly 15 over to his mum when he wants to go, my eldest boy 19 this year does as he pleases as he can get there if he wants too, and my daughter visits a lot. to say time is a healer is partly true it gives you time to get over it but at the same time don't dwell on it , it will make you bitter and affect the others in your life..

now i look back at the fact my kids are fairly able to look after themselves which gives me a bit of "me" time while the wife who is now nearly 42 has a 4 year old to contend with..
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:13 PM   #29
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Get some picks up mate!hahaha

Seriously though that must of been tough. Dont get me wrong i could slept with quite a few women but it just doesnt feel right.
i used to feel like that as well but by fuck i was wrong . it feels as right as right could be.
plus, with already having kids i had 2 years of grief from her but now were fine. most sundays we all go out together with the kids playing happy families.
it gets better.
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:22 PM   #30
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Can you ask her to stop coming round to walk the dogs? really not fair on you having to see her every week
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:33 PM   #31
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tell the prick she's with that the baby is yours
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:38 PM   #32
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:49 PM   #33
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Don't know what to say but the big question mark is why is it still both your house when she's walked it on you 2 years ago?
If need be, sell the house to get her name out of it and do the best to get on with your life without her
No need to be nasty
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:58 PM   #34
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I personally think the very first thing you should do is either borrow some money and pay her off or get her to buy you out the house !
The house is the tie and thats her having a hold over you , if she is on the mortgage as you say then she is entiteld to 50% of the equity of the house .
If she wont buy you out then sell and get a place of your own and move on , see how often she pops round then to walk the dogs .
Is she popping round while your not at home checking up on you ?

Im in charge of my own life but it cost me 32k to get rid of my ex , yes we had a dog but she took him and if he needed anything i said i would help her out but she managed , now she has 2 kids with someone we used to know and im happy for her .

Dont feel gutted feel happy for her and get on with your life !
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Old 02-05-2012, 05:33 PM   #35
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The only thing i can ever trust is my cossie.
Oh christ!
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Old 02-05-2012, 05:49 PM   #36
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Sorry to hear that Luke I agree with the above to try and break contact as your never move on like this. On a lighter note, are you coming to bhp day??
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Old 02-05-2012, 06:07 PM   #37
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Fuck her off, she's no good for you,
Or go the Jeremy Kyle route and say the kids yours, get the day off to go on telly and jobs a goodun, she'll think your an utter cunt and wont ever want to see you again,
Win Win.
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Old 02-05-2012, 06:12 PM   #38
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You have to move on.
This is your life its not rehearsal that will be better next time through.
No doubt this young lady is perfectly happy for you to live in & maintain her 50% .
Im a lot older & have seen this happen many times to a few mates you keep playing her game & you are in for a hard time. Sounds harsh but no easy way to say stop kidding yourself & move on.
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Old 02-05-2012, 06:16 PM   #39
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Fuck her off, she's no good for you,
Or go the Jeremy Kyle route and say the kids yours, get the day off to go on telly and jobs a goodun, she'll think your an utter cunt and wont ever want to see you again,
Win Win.
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Old 02-05-2012, 06:43 PM   #40
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You wait until shes dropped and you might find she wants the house for her new kid and fella
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Old 02-05-2012, 06:43 PM
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