anyone got any funny short jokes??

paceo · 08-04-2009, 03:25 PM

say what you like about pedos, at least they slow down around schools!!!

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Luca · 08-04-2009, 03:26 PM

U

BM08 · 08-04-2009, 03:27 PM

How does a Welsh man find a sheep in the grass????

Irresistible

Ed_van_Dijk · 08-04-2009, 03:28 PM

http://passionford.com/forum/showthr...53#post4067853

paceo · 08-04-2009, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BM08

How does a Welsh man find a sheep in the grass????

Irresistible

cpaul4 · 08-04-2009, 03:34 PM

Whats the difference between an egg and a wank...............?

You can beat an egg but you cant beat a wank!

BM08 · 08-04-2009, 03:36 PM

Mike C · 08-04-2009, 03:37 PM

You heard the one about the short-sighted circumcist?

He got the sack

RS 5tu · 08-04-2009, 03:40 PM

Why are pirates called pirates?

Coz they ARGHHHHH!

Red16 · 08-04-2009, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RS 5tu

Why are pirates called pirates?

Coz they ARGHHHHH!

Char1ie · 08-04-2009, 04:02 PM

Guess who I bumped into at the opticians?

Everybody.

Adam R4 · 08-04-2009, 04:10 PM

http://passionford.com/forum/general-car-related-discussion/293421-button-hurt-in-massive-f1-accident.html

just found it! top class!

Rab · 08-04-2009, 04:12 PM

Whats brown and sticky...

a stick

Lambchop · 08-04-2009, 05:01 PM

My all time fav joke...

How do you get fat women in to bed?

Piece of cake.

Ben Dover · 08-04-2009, 06:11 PM

Whats the difference between JAM and JELLY?

you cant JELLY your cock down a girls throat!!

Boom Boom!!

slydawg65 · 08-04-2009, 06:16 PM

Why did Hitler kill himself??

..He got the gas bill.

i'll get my coat..

Captain500rs · 08-04-2009, 06:19 PM

tumble weeds ? lol

Karlos G · 08-04-2009, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikecozza69

Whats the difference between JAM and JELLY?

you cant JELLY your cock down a girls throat!!

Boom Boom!!

Stu.H · 08-04-2009, 06:54 PM

How do you know when you girlfriend is too young for you?

When you have to make aeroplane noises to get your .....

ahem

gus · 08-04-2009, 07:09 PM

whats E.T. short for?

his only got little legs

RobL · 08-04-2009, 08:09 PM

loads on here
http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php?title=Main_Page

JoeSmith · 08-04-2009, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu.H

How do you know when you girlfriend is too young for you?

When you have to make aeroplane noises to get your .....

ahem

Been watching a bit of Jimmy Carr... LEGEND!!!

scoobypete · 08-04-2009, 08:33 PM

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

Turbocabbie · 08-04-2009, 08:40 PM

I don't know what's happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It's a nightmare - you don't know whether to carry sweets or money.

mercury grey minter · 08-04-2009, 08:41 PM

My grandad died at AUSTWITZ during the second world war.

He fell out of his machine gun tower.

B16 Will · 08-04-2009, 08:42 PM

What do you call two left flip flops??

Flip flips!!

mercury grey minter · 08-04-2009, 08:50 PM

Did you here about the jewish kamakazi pilot

He crashed his plane in his brothers scrapyrad.

Stu.H · 08-04-2009, 08:50 PM

If you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

chainsaw · 08-04-2009, 09:02 PM

pedo says to boy,
"will you come in my car if I give you a sweetie?",
Boy replies,
"give me the packet and I'll come in your mouth".

ECU Monitor Enthusiast · 08-04-2009, 09:56 PM

A couple of weeks a go I managed to last for 1 hour 2 minutes whilst having sex...

Great i thought, then I realised the clocks had gone forwards

nickywarwick · 08-04-2009, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flux Capacitor.

A couple of weeks a go I managed to last for 1 hour 2 minutes whilst having sex...

Great i thought, then I realised the clocks had gone back

you mean forward

ECU Monitor Enthusiast · 08-04-2009, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickywarwick

you mean forward

Well spotted... LOL

c2ssv · 08-04-2009, 10:12 PM

whats the diffence between a condon and a women? Nothing there either on your cock or in your wallet.

biglee · 08-04-2009, 10:14 PM

whats green and smells of pork??

kermits fingers

Rick Astley · 08-04-2009, 10:15 PM

My penis...

damian harris · 08-04-2009, 11:39 PM

What do you call a dinosaur who has had 12 pint's and a vindaloo?

MEGA-SORE-ARSE.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A LICK A LOT A PUSS

Chip · 09-04-2009, 12:01 AM

To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:

South-east England born and raised
On reality TV spending most of my days
Bein' racist, whoring out and relaxin' all cool
And being disgusting, Fuck the gene pool
When a couple of cells
Who were up to no good
Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood
I got one little lump and my doctors got scared
They said 'we are putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!'

Chopshop85 · 09-04-2009, 12:12 AM

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang Rape.

Chip · 09-04-2009, 12:17 AM

I admit that the fireworks at the opening ceremony for the Beijing Olympics were impressive, and hard to top...

...but just you wait and see what Al-Qaeda have got lined up for London in 2012.

XR Dougie · 09-04-2009, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chip

To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:

South-east England born and raised
On reality TV spending most of my days
Bein' racist, whoring out and relaxin' all cool
And being disgusting, Fuck the gene pool
When a couple of cells
Who were up to no good
Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood
I got one little lump and my doctors got scared
They said 'we are putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!'

Pure Class!!!!!!!!

08-04-2009, 03:26 PM	#2
Luca Lukesville 1994 Ford Fiesta Trader Score: (2) Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Portsmouth Posts: 9,245 Rep Power: 16	U __________________ Built @ JKM Performance - NEW SPEC 471.9 bhp thetrolley +500hp/ton - 134mph over 1/4 mile April 2011 - 11.74 @ 129.15mph

08-04-2009, 03:28 PM	#4
Ed_van_Dijk PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North Suffolk Posts: 7,186 Rep Power: 12	http://passionford.com/forum/showthr...53#post4067853 __________________ #69

08-04-2009, 03:37 PM	#8
Mike C The Special One Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Bridgnorth Posts: 10,470 Rep Power: 17	You heard the one about the short-sighted circumcist? He got the sack __________________

08-04-2009, 03:40 PM	#9
RS 5tu Advanced PassionFord User Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (2) Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Blackpool Posts: 1,857 Rep Power: 7	Why are pirates called pirates? Coz they ARGHHHHH! __________________ Ibiza SDI Daily 70mpg boi! S2 RS Turbo

08-04-2009, 04:10 PM	#12
Adam R4 British Rally Snapper 2000 Suzuki Swift Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Wigan Posts: 377 Rep Power: 4	http://passionford.com/forum/general-car-related-discussion/293421-button-hurt-in-massive-f1-accident.html just found it! top class! __________________ You've never been rallying unless you've been rallying with us! Ralphoto.co.uk Rollin' round in a Seat!

08-04-2009, 03:27 PM	#3
BM08 Professional Waffler Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2004 Location: west midlands Posts: 25,368 Rep Power: 33	How does a Welsh man find a sheep in the grass???? Irresistible

08-04-2009, 03:34 PM	#6
cpaul4 Part of the Furniture Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: High Wycombe Posts: 154 Rep Power: 7	Whats the difference between an egg and a wank...............? You can beat an egg but you cant beat a wank!

08-04-2009, 03:36 PM	#7
BM08 Professional Waffler Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2004 Location: west midlands Posts: 25,368 Rep Power: 33

08-04-2009, 04:02 PM	#11
Char1ie I've found that life I needed.. It's HERE!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (6) Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,288 Rep Power: 6	Guess who I bumped into at the opticians? Everybody.

08-04-2009, 04:12 PM	#13
Rab Fucking superstar........ Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2004 Location: Argyll.... It's lonely... Posts: 12,601 Rep Power: 20	Whats brown and sticky... a stick __________________

08-04-2009, 05:01 PM	#14
Lambchop PF Idiot Sniper Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Scotchland Posts: 24,083 Rep Power: 34	My all time fav joke... How do you get fat women in to bed? Piece of cake. __________________ Birds shouldn't be moderators ; )

08-04-2009, 06:11 PM	#15
Ben Dover I like to GET RAD Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: West Coast Baby Posts: 941 Rep Power: 4	Whats the difference between JAM and JELLY? you cant JELLY your cock down a girls throat!! Boom Boom!! __________________ EATIN' ain't CHEATIN'

08-04-2009, 06:16 PM	#16
slydawg65 Part of the Furniture Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: omagh Posts: 169 Rep Power: 4	Why did Hitler kill himself?? ..He got the gas bill. i'll get my coat..

08-04-2009, 06:19 PM	#17
Captain500rs Advanced PassionFord User Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: North East Posts: 1,761 Rep Power: 8	tumble weeds ? lol

08-04-2009, 06:54 PM	#19
Stu.H 10K+ Poster!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2003 Location: Brierley Hill Posts: 11,874 Rep Power: 20	How do you know when you girlfriend is too young for you? When you have to make aeroplane noises to get your ..... ahem __________________ Golf GT TDI PD130 (Remapped)

08-04-2009, 07:09 PM	#20
gus PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: essex Posts: 9,435 Rep Power: 18	whats E.T. short for? his only got little legs __________________

08-04-2009, 08:09 PM	#21
RobL Advanced PassionFord User Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: stoke on trent Posts: 2,162 Rep Power: 10	loads on here http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php?title=Main_Page

08-04-2009, 08:33 PM	#23
scoobypete I've found that life I needed.. It's HERE!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: northampton Posts: 1,056 Rep Power: 5	A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

08-04-2009, 08:41 PM	#25
mercury grey minter PassionFord Post Troll Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: SOLIHULL (BIRMINGHAM) Posts: 2,707 Rep Power: 9	My grandad died at AUSTWITZ during the second world war. He fell out of his machine gun tower. __________________

08-04-2009, 08:42 PM	#26
B16 Will Cosworth slag !! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Birmingham Posts: 506 Rep Power: 4	What do you call two left flip flops?? Flip flips!! __________________ 2003/53 BMW 330d M Sport

08-04-2009, 08:50 PM	#27
mercury grey minter PassionFord Post Troll Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: SOLIHULL (BIRMINGHAM) Posts: 2,707 Rep Power: 9	Did you here about the jewish kamakazi pilot He crashed his plane in his brothers scrapyrad. __________________

08-04-2009, 09:02 PM	#29
chainsaw Wahay!! I've lost my Virginity!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2007 Location: Colchester, Essex Posts: 81 Rep Power: 5	pedo says to boy, "will you come in my car if I give you a sweetie?", Boy replies, "give me the packet and I'll come in your mouth".

08-04-2009, 09:56 PM	#30
ECU Monitor Enthusiast BANNED BANNED Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Wiltshire Posts: 12,501 Rep Power: 0	A couple of weeks a go I managed to last for 1 hour 2 minutes whilst having sex... Great i thought, then I realised the clocks had gone forwards Last edited by ECU Monitor Enthusiast; 08-04-2009 at 10:06 PM. Reason: I am a dick...LOL

08-04-2009, 10:12 PM	#33
c2ssv the best 4x4xfar 1988 ford cossie cab Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: west mids Posts: 150 Rep Power: 4	whats the diffence between a condon and a women? Nothing there either on your cock or in your wallet.

08-04-2009, 10:14 PM	#34
biglee Audio specialist Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: daventry,northants Posts: 2,636 Rep Power: 10	whats green and smells of pork?? kermits fingers __________________ With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon. -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955) Life is knowing every day you survive without any unhappiness/ injury/ sudden unfortunate event is a slap and a big laugh against the face of death. It will come get you one day, sooner or later, but today wasn't your day

08-04-2009, 10:15 PM	#35
Rick Astley Never gonna give you up! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Posts: 5,726 Rep Power: 13	My penis...

08-04-2009, 11:39 PM	#36
damian harris sideways most if the time Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2007 Location: rochdale Posts: 401 Rep Power: 5	What do you call a dinosaur who has had 12 pint's and a vindaloo? MEGA-SORE-ARSE. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A LICK A LOT A PUSS

09-04-2009, 12:01 AM	#37
Chip * Sierra RS Custard * Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (3) Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 44,611 Rep Power: 51	To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air: South-east England born and raised On reality TV spending most of my days Bein' racist, whoring out and relaxin' all cool And being disgusting, Fuck the gene pool When a couple of cells Who were up to no good Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood I got one little lump and my doctors got scared They said 'we are putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!' __________________ Sometimes its more fun not to care if things make sense, and just do them anyway! Vauxhall Nova, Mid Engined, RWD, 457bhp, Autronic SM4, GT35R, Quaiffe ATB Diff 2.0 16v - DIY Specced, DIY Built, DIY Mapped, DIY Abused www.VauxSport.com

09-04-2009, 12:12 AM	#38
Chopshop85 PassionFord Post Troll Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (4) Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Mainland Posts: 3,358 Rep Power: 8	what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang Rape. __________________

09-04-2009, 12:17 AM	#39
Chip * Sierra RS Custard * Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (3) Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 44,611 Rep Power: 51	I admit that the fireworks at the opening ceremony for the Beijing Olympics were impressive, and hard to top... ...but just you wait and see what Al-Qaeda have got lined up for London in 2012. __________________ Sometimes its more fun not to care if things make sense, and just do them anyway! Vauxhall Nova, Mid Engined, RWD, 457bhp, Autronic SM4, GT35R, Quaiffe ATB Diff 2.0 16v - DIY Specced, DIY Built, DIY Mapped, DIY Abused www.VauxSport.com

09-04-2009, 03:21 AM
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