anyone got any funny short jokes?? - Page 2

Statey · 09-04-2009, 06:29 AM

LMAO to all these...........

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cressy · 09-04-2009, 08:46 AM

LMFOA

RS 5tu · 27-04-2009, 07:32 PM

whats got 2 legs and bleeds??

Half a dog!

Glenn. · 27-04-2009, 07:48 PM

Some top jokes lol.

RS_JAY · 27-04-2009, 07:54 PM

Do you like fishsticks...
You a gay fish.

( Lets see how many people clock on where thats from )

yappstar · 27-04-2009, 07:55 PM

Southpark^

Coldo · 27-04-2009, 08:03 PM

Whats white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.

lozi · 27-04-2009, 08:05 PM

What do you call a man with paper pants?

Russel

foreigneRS · 27-04-2009, 08:06 PM

how much do londoners pay for their shampoo?

pantene

RS_JAY · 27-04-2009, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chip

To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:

South-east England born and raised
On reality TV spending most of my days
Bein' racist, whoring out and relaxin' all cool
And being disgusting, Fuck the gene pool
When a couple of cells
Who were up to no good
Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood
I got one little lump and my doctors got scared
They said 'we are putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!'

Only you Chip, only you....

smitsturbo · 27-04-2009, 08:15 PM

why did the mexican sneeze on his wife?.......tequila

FORD RS MAD · 27-04-2009, 08:19 PM

what can a cow do that a woman can't??
stand up to her tits in water without getting her fanny wet

smitsturbo · 27-04-2009, 08:24 PM

Apparently my mate's got swine Flu,

I think he's just telling porkies, though

RS 5tu · 27-04-2009, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smitsturbo

Apparently my mate's got swine Flu,

I think he's just telling porkies, though

FORD RS MAD · 27-04-2009, 08:36 PM

my mates wife is so stupid, bought a red car,she cant even drive,got it cause she likes the colour
my wife is more stupid than that,shes going abroad with her mates and bought six packets of condoms and she has'nt even got a prick

n13los · 27-04-2009, 08:56 PM

how did the lion get lost?

cos the jungle is massive!!

Asturias · 27-04-2009, 09:00 PM

What do essex girls use as a contraceptive?

Bus shelter

alan12112 · 27-04-2009, 09:04 PM

whats life like for a wood worm?

Boring!!

gibbo frst · 27-04-2009, 09:21 PM

Paddy goes to the library and asks for a book called Psycho-The Rapist. The Librarian came back and says "its Psychotherapist, you fucking idiot!"

Shorty · 27-04-2009, 09:30 PM

How do you make Lady Ga Ga cry?

Pokerface....

POPEYE · 27-04-2009, 09:34 PM

Bear and Rabbit in the Woods, bear says to the rabbit do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur, rabbit says no, bear picks rabbit up and wipes his arse with him

saphcosmike · 27-04-2009, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RS 5tu

Why are pirates called pirates?

Coz they ARGHHHHH!

Where do pirates go for a drink???

In a Baarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!

saphcosmike · 27-04-2009, 09:38 PM

What do you call a woman with a brain??

transvestite

smitsturbo · 27-04-2009, 09:51 PM

what do you call a chinese car thief.........tommmy took-a-mota

what do you call a chinese man with 1 leg...........tie-wan-shoo

Rob84 · 27-04-2009, 09:52 PM

Did I tell you about my suicidal friend? I pushed him on some train lines..... He was chuffed to bits!

smitsturbo · 27-04-2009, 10:00 PM

statistically 6 out of 6 dwarfs are not happy

statistically 9 out of ten people enjoy gang rape

alan12112 · 27-04-2009, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smitsturbo

statistically 6 out of 6 dwarfs are not happy

statistically 9 out of ten people enjoy gang rape

6 out of 6 or 7?

smitsturbo · 27-04-2009, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alan12112

6 out of 6 or 7?

my bad

Stu.H · 27-04-2009, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gibbo frst

Paddy goes to the library and asks for a book called Psycho-The Rapist. The Librarian came back and says "its Psychotherapist, you fucking idiot!"

I actually said that in my local dentist when I was about 9!!!!

Flucker01 · 27-04-2009, 10:16 PM

How do you spot a blind guy at a nudist camp?

Its not hard.

woolford · 27-04-2009, 10:36 PM

hahahahaha

dovboy · 27-04-2009, 11:28 PM

man goes to the doctors and tells him he is going deaf

doctor says, whats the symptoms?

man, cartoon starring a guy called homer.

2 fish in a tank,one says to the other "i hope you know how to drive this thing!".

percybigun · 28-04-2009, 12:39 AM

did you hear about the scarecrow who got an award?

it was for being outstanding in his field.

PeterD · 28-04-2009, 01:46 AM

Hear the one about the blind doctor who was doing circumsitions?

He got the sack.

---

30 father Christmases in a room, which ones gay?

Clause 28.

---

One legged chinese gymnast?

wun jim shoo

---

Pakistani DIY enthusiast?

ahmaid ashed

---

female Pakistani pornstar?

Rammitbawdeep

---

supersiamsports · 28-04-2009, 02:24 AM

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Cook it in the oven until its bill withers.

My wife's got an eating disorder. She's eating dis order, dat order, every damn order!

Mr Shannon · 28-04-2009, 02:59 AM

Whats wore than finding half a worm in the apple your eating...

Rape.

johnandhissaffy · 28-04-2009, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smitsturbo

what do you call a chinese car thief.........tommmy took-a-mota

what do you call a chinese man with 1 leg...........tie-wan-shoo

ha ha ha fuking funny shit im crying top notch lol

roflmfao

p17fld · 28-04-2009, 06:16 AM

Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain, and were approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each other, one pad said to the other,

"Should we say hi to those 2 tampons?"

The other pad responded, "Err... nah... they're stuck up cunts

What do you call an annexic with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese

09-04-2009, 08:46 AM	#42
cressy PassionFord Post Troll Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: derby the pride of the midlands D.C.F.C Posts: 2,714 Rep Power: 10	LMFOA __________________ derbyshire rsoc meeting every 2nd sunday of the month at the paddock mansfield rd derby PS3 GAME TAG-cressys1 wanted meaningfull one night stand

27-04-2009, 07:32 PM	#43
RS 5tu Advanced PassionFord User Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (2) Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Blackpool Posts: 1,857 Rep Power: 7	whats got 2 legs and bleeds?? Half a dog! __________________ Ibiza SDI Daily 70mpg boi! S2 RS Turbo

27-04-2009, 07:48 PM	#44
Glenn. Professional Waffler Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Darlington county durham Posts: 27,973 Rep Power: 33	Some top jokes lol. __________________ NORTHEAST/NORTH YORKSHIRE ALL FORD MEET ORGANISER pm for details.

27-04-2009, 07:54 PM	#45
RS_JAY Too many posts.. I need a life!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Hemel hempstead Posts: 732 Rep Power: 8	Do you like fishsticks... You a gay fish. ( Lets see how many people clock on where thats from ) __________________

27-04-2009, 08:03 PM	#47
Coldo PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Scotland Posts: 6,132 Rep Power: 14	Whats white and can't climb trees? A fridge. __________________ **Bring back Lambchop, He's an Innocent man...People are scared of the truth**

27-04-2009, 07:55 PM	#46
yappstar BANNED BANNED Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: london Posts: 496 Rep Power: 0	Southpark^

27-04-2009, 08:05 PM	#48
lozi My Cossie Ate My Money Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Northants Posts: 1,712 Rep Power: 8	What do you call a man with paper pants? Russel __________________ I WANT ANOTHER COSSIE! Self Proclaimed King Of The Shot Peeners Xbox Live Gamertag: HeavyDarka

27-04-2009, 08:06 PM	#49
foreigneRS Testing the future Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: W. Sussex Posts: 16,086 Rep Power: 25	how much do londoners pay for their shampoo? pantene __________________ Nick It takes me less than 9 minutes RP Lab L8 ECU 1998 Puma 1.7 / 2002 Galaxy 2.3 LPG / 2007 Honda VFR800 VTEC / 1972 Honda C90

27-04-2009, 08:15 PM	#51
smitsturbo PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: aberdeenshire Posts: 7,246 Rep Power: 14	why did the mexican sneeze on his wife?.......tequila __________________ www.sitechracing.co.uk

27-04-2009, 08:19 PM	#52
FORD RS MAD Ford model mad Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In the land of models Posts: 1,184 Rep Power: 5	what can a cow do that a woman can't?? stand up to her tits in water without getting her fanny wet

27-04-2009, 08:24 PM	#53
smitsturbo PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: aberdeenshire Posts: 7,246 Rep Power: 14	Apparently my mate's got swine Flu, I think he's just telling porkies, though __________________ www.sitechracing.co.uk

27-04-2009, 08:36 PM	#55
FORD RS MAD Ford model mad Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In the land of models Posts: 1,184 Rep Power: 5	my mates wife is so stupid, bought a red car,she cant even drive,got it cause she likes the colour my wife is more stupid than that,shes going abroad with her mates and bought six packets of condoms and she has'nt even got a prick

27-04-2009, 08:56 PM	#56
n13los PassionFord Regular Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: cardiff Posts: 357 Rep Power: 0	how did the lion get lost? cos the jungle is massive!!

27-04-2009, 09:00 PM	#57
Asturias Part of the Furniture Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 164 Rep Power: 5	What do essex girls use as a contraceptive? Bus shelter __________________ E39 M5 & 4x4 Cossie The 400BHP twins!

27-04-2009, 09:04 PM	#58
alan12112 Focus St mk2 310 bhp :D Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2006 Location: Bolton/Kirkham Posts: 2,442 Rep Power: 8	whats life like for a wood worm? Boring!! __________________ Fiesta Turbo= Awesome but not big enough Mondeo ST = Sold on - not an old man yet! Focus ST = Best of both!!

27-04-2009, 09:21 PM	#59
gibbo frst Advanced PassionFord User Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (2) Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: devon Posts: 1,520 Rep Power: 9	Paddy goes to the library and asks for a book called Psycho-The Rapist. The Librarian came back and says "its Psychotherapist, you fucking idiot!"

27-04-2009, 09:30 PM	#60
Shorty PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (1) Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Liverpool Posts: 4,994 Rep Power: 11	How do you make Lady Ga Ga cry? Pokerface.... __________________

27-04-2009, 09:34 PM	#61
POPEYE FAIRY CAKE Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: May 2003 Location: THE BEACHES, AUSTRALIA Posts: 15,202 Rep Power: 24	Bear and Rabbit in the Woods, bear says to the rabbit do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur, rabbit says no, bear picks rabbit up and wipes his arse with him __________________ V8

27-04-2009, 09:38 PM	#63
saphcosmike Advanced PassionFord User Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Tyne and Wear Posts: 2,157 Rep Power: 7	What do you call a woman with a brain?? transvestite

27-04-2009, 09:51 PM	#64
smitsturbo PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: aberdeenshire Posts: 7,246 Rep Power: 14	what do you call a chinese car thief.........tommmy took-a-mota what do you call a chinese man with 1 leg...........tie-wan-shoo __________________ www.sitechracing.co.uk

27-04-2009, 09:52 PM	#65
Rob84 I've found that life I needed.. It's HERE!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Barton Posts: 1,262 Rep Power: 9	Did I tell you about my suicidal friend? I pushed him on some train lines..... He was chuffed to bits! __________________ JDM DC5 Honda Integra Type R

27-04-2009, 10:00 PM	#66
smitsturbo PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: aberdeenshire Posts: 7,246 Rep Power: 14	statistically 6 out of 6 dwarfs are not happy statistically 9 out of ten people enjoy gang rape __________________ www.sitechracing.co.uk

27-04-2009, 10:16 PM	#70
Flucker01 Xbox live: GulliblePanda Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Glasgow. Posts: 277 Rep Power: 4	How do you spot a blind guy at a nudist camp? Its not hard.

27-04-2009, 10:36 PM	#71
woolford Advanced PassionFord User Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Blackpool Posts: 1,805 Rep Power: 7	hahahahaha

27-04-2009, 11:28 PM	#72
dovboy PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: fife,scotland Posts: 3,678 Rep Power: 10	man goes to the doctors and tells him he is going deaf doctor says, whats the symptoms? man, cartoon starring a guy called homer. 2 fish in a tank,one says to the other "i hope you know how to drive this thing!". __________________ my car vids http://www.youtube.com/results?searc...y&search_type= Last edited by dovboy; 27-04-2009 at 11:29 PM.

28-04-2009, 12:39 AM	#73
percybigun Twistin me melon man Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Cambs UK Posts: 2,016 Rep Power: 10	did you hear about the scarecrow who got an award? it was for being outstanding in his field.

28-04-2009, 01:46 AM	#74
PeterD PassionFord Post Whore!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 4,061 Rep Power: 11	Hear the one about the blind doctor who was doing circumsitions? He got the sack. --- 30 father Christmases in a room, which ones gay? Clause 28. --- One legged chinese gymnast? wun jim shoo --- Pakistani DIY enthusiast? ahmaid ashed --- female Pakistani pornstar? Rammitbawdeep --- __________________ Pete Its bought you crunt!

28-04-2009, 02:24 AM	#75
supersiamsports 15000 Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: n/a Posts: 27 Rep Power: 0	How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Cook it in the oven until its bill withers. My wife's got an eating disorder. She's eating dis order, dat order, every damn order!

28-04-2009, 02:59 AM	#76
Mr Shannon I've found that life I needed.. It's HERE!! Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Burnley Posts: 1,325 Rep Power: 9	Whats wore than finding half a worm in the apple your eating... Rape. __________________

28-04-2009, 06:16 AM	#78
p17fld Never owned a Ford. Garage is empty, add now Trader Score: (0) Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Manchester/Dubai Posts: 1,347 Rep Power: 8	Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain, and were approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each other, one pad said to the other, "Should we say hi to those 2 tampons?" The other pad responded, "Err... nah... they're stuck up cunts What do you call an annexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese __________________ My favourite colour is ham.

28-04-2009, 06:16 AM
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