Hmm, maybe the wrong forum/website.. need opinions though..
#1
Hmm, maybe the wrong forum/website.. need opinions though..
Don't like getting all emo on public forums, but doctors are ffing useless.
Going to be very brief,
Basically what is happening lately is I'am very tired, i fall asleep if at random times in the day.
Since leaving school i havent done too well in work, had a lot of problems at home and a lot of mental and psyhical abuse from my mums boyfriend for a few years now, which has all stopped since i grew the guts to give him a few digs on new years eve last year.
Drove me to manic depression and suicide up until July 2004, from then on i managed to get back into work albeing since attempting suicide and failing i took the attitude ' i could be dead tommorow ' and got myself 3k in debt livin it up.
Life was all good up until July 2005, i met a girl, and don't ask me why but it was a girl ive known for about 3 years, bit a slag to be honest, 16 years old and had a baby girl, one night she kissed me and it went from there.
I soon realised she wasnt the slag she used to be and she had calmed down a awful lot, even though she still liked male attention and was a bit of an exhibitionist.
Because of all my problems 3 years previous, id lost all my friends mainly, and the love from my parents, well thats how it felt.
Id found this girl, and i felt loved, and cared for, but i was scared, scared shitless of loosing her, it sounds pathetic but it got to the stage where i wanted to know where she was all the time and if i didnt know where she was id think she was cheatin on me or something.
About 4 months later i lost my job, and she had just given birth to her daughter at this point, helped her out for a couple of months and lived off my savings being as good as iam.
I then got another job in a warehouse, temporary which ceased in october 2006.
I was constantly falling out with the girl i had met, and then we made up, but every morning id just wake up and think right, where the fuck is she, cause she had the baby she cant work, basically i didnt want to loose someone id got close to.
Then i found out a couple of months back ive now got her pregnant, and my whole life seems to have gone tits up.
My parents had literally lost all hope with me, and now they know about the baby, they are ashamed of me, and make me feel dirty and violated.
I havent worked for 5 months because of the way iam and the way i feel, i cant face the outside world.
Now the point of this post, everytime i sleep i wake up and ill have a panic attack, i won't know what day of the week it is, and ill wake up and talk a load of jibberish to myself for a few minutes till i come round.
Might be easy to say snap out of it, but i can't, i went for an interview the other week and i just sat there like i didnt care, i just felt tired and couldnt concentrate
Ive been to the doctors and they just tell me to carry on working and get on with life and wish me all the best.
Its just too much, i feel as if i lost everything and all hope...
I just don't like these panicky moments when i wake up, they are awful and i feel sick all day when i have one, girlfriend rang me this morning and woke me up to remind me we had a midwife appointment at 3pm today, i was like WTF you on and started shouting at her and she said i told her why today, its saturday ?
I have been trying the past few weeks to get back into work but its been unsucessful as yet.
Going to be very brief,
Basically what is happening lately is I'am very tired, i fall asleep if at random times in the day.
Since leaving school i havent done too well in work, had a lot of problems at home and a lot of mental and psyhical abuse from my mums boyfriend for a few years now, which has all stopped since i grew the guts to give him a few digs on new years eve last year.
Drove me to manic depression and suicide up until July 2004, from then on i managed to get back into work albeing since attempting suicide and failing i took the attitude ' i could be dead tommorow ' and got myself 3k in debt livin it up.
Life was all good up until July 2005, i met a girl, and don't ask me why but it was a girl ive known for about 3 years, bit a slag to be honest, 16 years old and had a baby girl, one night she kissed me and it went from there.
I soon realised she wasnt the slag she used to be and she had calmed down a awful lot, even though she still liked male attention and was a bit of an exhibitionist.
Because of all my problems 3 years previous, id lost all my friends mainly, and the love from my parents, well thats how it felt.
Id found this girl, and i felt loved, and cared for, but i was scared, scared shitless of loosing her, it sounds pathetic but it got to the stage where i wanted to know where she was all the time and if i didnt know where she was id think she was cheatin on me or something.
About 4 months later i lost my job, and she had just given birth to her daughter at this point, helped her out for a couple of months and lived off my savings being as good as iam.
I then got another job in a warehouse, temporary which ceased in october 2006.
I was constantly falling out with the girl i had met, and then we made up, but every morning id just wake up and think right, where the fuck is she, cause she had the baby she cant work, basically i didnt want to loose someone id got close to.
Then i found out a couple of months back ive now got her pregnant, and my whole life seems to have gone tits up.
My parents had literally lost all hope with me, and now they know about the baby, they are ashamed of me, and make me feel dirty and violated.
I havent worked for 5 months because of the way iam and the way i feel, i cant face the outside world.
Now the point of this post, everytime i sleep i wake up and ill have a panic attack, i won't know what day of the week it is, and ill wake up and talk a load of jibberish to myself for a few minutes till i come round.
Might be easy to say snap out of it, but i can't, i went for an interview the other week and i just sat there like i didnt care, i just felt tired and couldnt concentrate
Ive been to the doctors and they just tell me to carry on working and get on with life and wish me all the best.
Its just too much, i feel as if i lost everything and all hope...
I just don't like these panicky moments when i wake up, they are awful and i feel sick all day when i have one, girlfriend rang me this morning and woke me up to remind me we had a midwife appointment at 3pm today, i was like WTF you on and started shouting at her and she said i told her why today, its saturday ?
I have been trying the past few weeks to get back into work but its been unsucessful as yet.
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27-09-2015 02:55 PM